This year, the Dingbats are celebrating Zulu’s 50th, so, even without Dino and Hungry, we may look back at ’25 as the Year Of Living Sensibly. The tally of last year’s mishaps exceeded everybody’s worst expectations. Two hospitalisations. Five missed games. Three-day conversations with God. Barefoot wanderers. Nurse-call buttons. Runaway primates. Lost wallets, phones, whites, shoes, bats, dignity.
The Dingbats have gone for ying-yang balance in this year’s squad: cricketers/Curly; youth/Shaxxi; no Jarrad/yes Shovels; Kyal’s in/Kyal’s in.
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ANDREW HALL
Andy has finally handed back to the keys to the Kenworth. Coaching his talented leg-spinner son's U-14s has replaced those long hours on the road. His many years of salvaging the tour when Curly shits the bed (not always figuratively) and picking up Jarrad’s toys make him highly qualified. Hopefully Nikka’s not teaching the kids how to remove vomit from a car window.
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DANIEL M
Known by the cricketing community far and wide as Zulu, Daniel has clocked up 50 years of death- and common-sense-defying antics, and has asked us all to raise our breakfast daiquiris in his honour. Anyone looking to buy a present could start with the long list of lost things from last year: shoes (2+), phone, whites, socks (1 only), bat, a whole week. Please don’t buy him a guitar. As Yogi Berra said, “predictions are hard, especially when they’re about Zulu.”
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EDWARD KERSHAW
Fast Eddie finally lived up to his name in 2025, high-tailing at warp speed out of the rubble of the Duang Tawan to the Intercon. Not so fast at getting up for the morning games, Eduardo tends to stumble straight from the tuk-tuk to cow corner. With the ol’ silver fox back slumming it at the Duang Tawan, we’ll have to make sure the Presidential Suite butler has his whites ironed and foie gras breakfast ready in time.
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IAN GASON
Everybody’s least favourite vagrant, Curly now enters his third year of international homelessness. After unsuccessfully cat-herding 17 tourists through earthquakes, ICUs, clip-joints and lost-monkey homes, the Sixes veteran claims this year his cricket will shine. Like a polished turd. Curly is due for a big one. Have that wheelchair ready.
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KYAL HILL
Mellow. Calm. Measured. That’s good Kyal. 20 years between his first and second tour, but then a mere 357 days for his third, indications are we might see a return of the burger stealing, plant pinching, shirt stripping Bad Kyal. Hamburger pounces on loose offerings, whether it’s a half-tracker outside leg, a cheese-burger in Smoker’s mitt, or walking down the stairs at Muse.
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MAX COOMBES
After years of cosplaying as Responsible Young Max, 2025 was the year the mask came off. The fella that lives in town, should be the one you can count on to be there, but Max got his dates wrong a lobbed up mid-week, and then slept through his second game. Yet, while his big hitting and safe hands have won the Dingbats many a game, but does anybody call him Maxi The Match Winner? No! But you lose one monkey…..
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NICK STEPANCICH
Normally a pretty loose unit, it says a lot about the mayhem of the 2025 tour that Shovels was the Voice Of Reason. While others ended up in ICU, lost their teammates' shoes or found God, Shovels sipped calmly on a pina colada or 12. Hoping to add to his tally of 1 run from 2025. This one goes to 11.
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PAUL SHACKLEFORD
The man least likely to get Spank The Monkey, Shax returns for his third (half) tour. Underneath that newsreader hair sits a big brain, totally out of place in the Dingbats tent. What his brain was doing when he lent Zulu his lovely red shoes is a mystery. Treats every run off his bowling as an affront to his dignity. Shax is a master of the long stare down the pitch with a chin scratch for every ball that doesn’t turn….which is most of them.
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PHIL WALKER
The cheese to the chalk that is Shax’s perfect hair, Sideshow adds juggling to his clown routine: juggling a job in Adelaide, a family in a bus in Japan, and a black hole in Chiang Mai. A stable pair of hands behind the stumps, notoriously unstable after stumps. No photos, didn’t happen? Well, in Bob’s case, even CCTV can’t decipher the mystery of his last night in Chiang Mai.
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STEVE BURKE
We can blame Burkey’s 50th for last year’s appearances of not only Jarrad, but Zulu, Azza and Hungry. Once an “every ten years” tourist, he’s back to help celebrate Zulu’s 50 retaaarded years on the ratty planet. Stable, responsible and calm under pressure, Burkey’s the man you need when your team-mate needs an ICU- just don’t let him monitor the visitors. Rumours of his cricketing demise should be treated with caution.
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TY MATTHEWS
One taste of Thailand and Ty had the bug. So keen to spend more time in these fair lands, he wondered if there was a market for sand in the south, a venture which was shut down before it could get out of bed. When not taking coals to Newcastle, he's capable of big scores on the field and on Loi Kroh. A bus driver on Melbourne's public transport network, Ty puts passenger safety first, except when the lights are amber.
