Rumours of their demise were premature, much like the TOKYO DINGBATS themselves. They have wisely by-passed the hotels and checked the whole team into Ratchavej Hospital, replaced the team bus with an ambulance, and the guide with a nurse. (Or they'll just bring one of those Japanese nurse's uniforms from Tokyo.) Proud to be back in town, the Dingbats are excited at the prospect of another division, hopefully lower than the Spoon. With four virgins in tow, no shortage of rookie errors and stumbling tomfoolery is a certainty.
Big thanks to our sponsor The Couta Group.
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ANDREW HALL
Awoke from a 7 year coma and promptly told the missus, "I'm off to Thailand....for cricket." Nikka has never been the same since that big collision with our grumpy dinosaur Jarrad. May explain the 7 year coma. Has a lot of lost time to make up for. Expect some champagne moments.
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DANIEL MUGAN
Once upon a time, there was a fox, and he was called Zulu. He spent his days punting down the lazy rivers of Brisbane town, occasionally eating a cucumber sandwich. Then one day, he read about the Chiang Mai Sixes. His friends told him he can't go, but he was a willful little fox. 3 weeks later, he was off his tiny face in a go-go bar. But the fun, fun times came to end, and eventually he found himself doing trannies for a living.
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GORDON BENNET
A big, big unit about which I know sweet f--- all. Gordon hails from Tokyo via somewhere else, and hasn't picked up a bat since well before arriving in the Land of The Rising Sun. By all reports when he hits 'em, they stay hit. Question is when or even if will he hit one. And what. Probably a vodka slammer and a buffet.
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IAN GASON
Don't listen to anything Curly says about Thailand. If you want to see elephants, Curly, no need to spend a week in a national park. A tuk tuk to Loi Kroh Rd should get you all the big game you need- pigs and wild dogs too. In fact don't listen to anything Curly says about anything. Thought he would finally usurp Marty and command the Vitamin V duties he craved. Will need all his cat herding skills to keep this year's unruly mob of Dingbats in line.
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MARTIN CHARLTON
Marty, Murray, Barney, Ma Nut Hin Lai, yeah, him, that one. No need to scramble for a replacement when Marty goes down like a sack of spuds this year. Comes in a convenient pre-injured package, with the trifecta of dodgy shoulder, hamstring and gut. The only chance you'll see Murray on the field is if he stumbles into the Designated Spewing Zone. Only joined the tour to keep Curly away from Fines Duties.
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MATTHEW BRAY
Despite his steepling bounce, prancing run-up and penchant for bandanas and pink underwear, young Matt has skillfully dodged a nickname for 4 years, just as he has tried his best to dodge Marty's vodka bottle. Australia has had its creative best brain-storm a moniker for the man who once took an hour for a beer run and brought back warm San Miguels. After 4 years with the Dingbats, Matt has also dodged the hospitals better than the rest.
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MATTHEW DOOLAN
Proof that it's not what you've got, it's what you do with it, Dools packs a mighty big Bazooka in his trunk. But sadly he struggles to get it up, even for a pull. Dools' boundaries are usually a gentle nudge through the covers or a fine leg tickle. We hope to see him put one or two away in cow corner over the week. STOP PRESS: In true Dingbat spirit, Dools has broken an ankle running a single!
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MOHIDEEN YUSRY
Yuzzie comes from the same school of Islam as Maki though luckily not the same school of obnoxious. If you see him at morning prayers, it means he has got lost on the way home from Spicey. Kindly direct him to the Porn Ping, but if he has Zulu in tow, the hotel is probably the last thing on their minds.
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PETER HOSKING
He's fled barefoot from a tsunami in Phuket, survived a kidnap attempt in Manila, and even walked away from a week in Bali with Zulu. Smokin' Pete thinks he has seen the worst the Asia can throw at him, but how will he deal with the Porn Ping breakfast after an all-nighter with Marty and Curly? It's the humidity the gets him.
