DESCRIBED BY A.I. as "a team that's as unpredictable as a Tokyo alleyway, as charming as a neon-lit ramen shop, and as thrilling to watch as a bullet train hurtling towards victory," Dingbats have "a reputation for both valiant batting and, well, let's say 'eclectic' fielding," and "might celebrate a victory with karaoke renditions of enka ballads or mourn a defeat with a sake-fueled sumo wrestling tournament in the locker room."
The overlord robots also claimed the Tokyo Dingbats were an Australian rock band, a Japanese rock band, and a Japanese visual-kei band, and that Zulu died in a car crash in 1996.
What is true is the Dingbats have held the highly prized Joe Carpenter Plate since 2019, an unbroken five year streak. What is also true is one big reason for that successful streak - no, not lockdowns- Peter Richardson won't be touring this year. Instead, look forward to the usual flotsam of cripples, has-beens and never-was. Virgin blood tbc.
The Tokyo Dingbats are proudly (?) sponsored by Australian satirical website (www.theshovel.com.au) and their new HQ, DJ Bar, down Kalare Bazaar way, where you can find them singing enka ballads over a quite sake.
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ALEX GRIFFITHS
Neither a truck driver or from Adelaide, the young Brit will be out of place among the Dingbats, and that's even before he takes to the pitch. Another member of the Coombes clan, we can now relegate Chris to the 4th best cricketer in the family- and that only counts the ones in Thailand. Alex may have some tales to tell from his year in South America. Fond of.....we're keen to find out.
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ANDREW HALL
His advice with tax laws is as liberal and dubious as his in tour behaviour. We just hope he doesn't drive his trucks with the same reckless abandon. Abandon is not something Nikka will do. Whether it's wheeling his team-mates home or keeping the night rolling, Nikka will be there. Fond of a frozen khao soi.
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BEN RESCHKE
A footballer of some potential in his day, Bullfrog could have gone further. Think Mark Higgs. Recruited to the Dingbats at a dodgy outback truck stop, Ben was so keen to get amongst it, he had his tickets booked 72 hours later. The happiest looking truckie to sign for the Dingbats for two decades, don't be surprised to see the Bullfrog with a monkey on his back. Fond of.....whaddayagot?
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EDWARD KERSHAW
Silver foxed, smooth talking, retiree, generally partial to the finer things in life. Got right into the Dingbat spirit by exploding a hamstring so badly it'd make Marty blush. Puts considered thought into who he lets Spank The Monkey. Strong favourite to be first subbed out. Might go Karen when they're not cold enough, Fast Eddie is fond of a cold beer.
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IAN GASON
Known to insert himself in situations and places at the most inappropriate of times, and for falling face first to the ground like a man who forgot his parachute. Batted for 5 overs for 1 run. Living proof that Jesus can still do that miracle stuff, after learning to walk again. Also living proof that Jesus makes some pretty bad choices about who he saves. Fond of a bloody Mary.
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MAXWELL COOMBES
Best cricketer in the Dingbats and second best in his family, young Max is young no more, though yet to devolve into a degenerate like his teammates. Like his cricket skills, he must have learnt that from his Mum. Dispensary connoisseur. Fond of a strawberry bubble-gum flavoured vape.
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NICK STEPANCICH
Works as a stunt double for Alan from The Hangover. Crosses a line and switches from laid back to rowdy. Cool under pressure, convinced his skipper he was up early and ready for a game, when in fact he'd just pulled an almighty all-nighter. Good to go on just one hamstring. Fond of the rasta bar.
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PAUL SHACKLEFORD
Another crow-eater, Shax is that rarest of species, a Dingbat with genuine Tokyo heritage. Wise, if not beyond his years, then certainly beyond his team-mates, the cunning tweaker has been bamboozling batters long enough to have first come out of retirement some 20 years ago. Shaxie's respected and respectable persona is evidenced by his perfect newsreader hair. Least likely to have Spank The Monkey. Fond of Thailand's beach attractions
