With past glories fading slowly to little more than a pleasant, distant memory, it seems old Father Time may finally be catching up with the Taverners (again). Touring with a smaller, creakier (though no less willing) crew of misfits and miscreants this year, we seem to have matured like a cheap flagon of claret.
The new blokes have been talking a pretty good game so anticipation of a few scintillating performances is high, though perhaps expectations should be tempered for too much of a show on the field.
No matter, team ethos still beats bright and strong with a tour virgin, an old stager, and a couple of dead keen blokes (oh, and Dave, not sure about him) chomping at the bit to give it a red hot go on the field and cut a swathe through downtown Chiang Mai.
From all reports the organisers have once again done a cracking job getting the Tournament ready for us; as we all enjoy another week of telling stories tall and true, catching up with friends new and old, the odd bit of cricket and plenty of fun and misadventure along the way, why not make sure we track these buggers down and let them know just how much we appreciate all they do.
Now fellas, the Spoon, knock those damn Malakas off and have a crack at the Spoon…..
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Anthony Barranca - Fuzz
How this nutter manages to get back into Thailand ( let alone out of Australia ) time and time again really is a mystery to all and something the Kingdom should probably look into. A highly skilled and experienced cricketer on the field , it’s great to have him touring with us once more. A full blown menace off the field, we really are at our wit’s end with his relentless misadventures, mishaps and misdeeds. There is some conjecture if he’s getting stronger and fitter as he gets older, or we’re all just falling apart faster than he is ( if you need to ask, it'll cost you a slammer). Living life with the volume all the way to 11, you’re not going to miss him (trust me, I’ve tried………).
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Brian Scott - No Mates
Scotty has apparently never met a Taverner, so quite an unusual tourist for us this year. It appears he may be a butcher with a penchant for photography; though no mention, despite extensive research ( well, a half arsed google search anyway) of any cricketing experience whatsoever can anywhere be found.
Has toured the Sixers previously (so should know better) with Blythswood and by the looks of the character assassination paraded out as a bio. there, the search for a new team should likely come as no surprise. That he finds himself settling with us would indicate an insular, unobservant personality unconcerned for his physical safety and wellbeing – he’s gonna’ fit like a glove. So a warm welcome to the Taverners from all of us No Mates (if anyone asks, you really are a twit and it’ll cost you a slammer) we look forward to getting you on board and having you do pretty much all the work for us, all the time, without rancour, on both sides of the rope…….
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Glen O'Brien - Scratcher
Heart and soul of the Taverners, Scratcher finds himself team Grandpa this year. Confounded, and surprisingly less amused than you would think by this turn of events, a stirling effort on the field is most definitely on the cards. Has played the game and toured Chiang Mai longer than most can remember – he can bat , bowl, field and throw so usually one of the very first picks every game ( if you ask who does the picking, it'll cost you a slammer). At his best keeping everyone on their toes with an often troubling energy and drive which, unfortunately, manifests itself mostly off the field. Having the likes of Damo, Shrek, Walts, Hully, Weinergrinder etc. not touring this year, and a few old timers no longer with us, he finds himself one of the last OG Taverner’s standing – so no pressure then Glen…….
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Keith Lang - Lango
Ok, I’ll just get straight to it – slammer for you Lango ! ( if anyone asks, he gets another one )
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Michael Baxter - Sorge
Not exactly sure what’s going on over at Blytheswood, but here we have another exile likely seeking refuge from what could only be described as his “colourful” bio. - or maybe it was just Raj….( if you’re not sure, slammer for you ). Whilst it’s great to have him on board, it does start to feel we are tipping into the realm of those teams old cricketers go to die.
Conversely, are we the unwitting victims of a possible Blytheswood play for total Gymkhana domination? Is this man the “fifth columnist”? A spook? An intelligence agent ? (no, that can’t be it). So many unanswered questions, so many unknowns, so much mystery – I think this guy (and his skipper) may require some nefarious, old school Tav's style interrogation.
Anyway, the Panther says welcome to the tent Sorge – we all look forward to seeing how this one plays out .....
Oh yeah, nearly forgot, Cheesie reckons he can play a bit too, but he lives in Canberra so what would he know.
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Ryan Greenwell - Eater
Having never met the guy I thought I would dig around a little - you can learn a lot about someone from their Facebook profile – this bloke seems to find himself in a lot of unusual places, oftentimes lost and alone. Uncomfortably keen on a bit of a dress up, I can’t wait to see how that pans out for him around the shady lanes of Loi Kroh…. Plays the gentleman’s game for Applecross CC - not only handy with a bit of willow, scuttlebut has it he’s keen on the glovework too, odd really for a guy who often prattles on of his pleasure belting around the ropes on those hot steamy days after the little red Duke. So welcome to the Tav’s and good luck, great to have you aboard Eater. I'm hearing he’s pretty good on the tooth too (if anyone asks it’ll cost you a slammer), so the Tav’s can relax, our new team eater is found. (You hear that Carmo ??)
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Scott Jordan - Jordo
Works with Kippy so has unfortunately inherited the same absurdly foolhardy approach to a fine session ( if you need to ask, it'll cost you a slammer). Has played a lot of cricket and despite the video of last year's tournament is pretty good at it; regardless of the Panther's pained bleatings, he is always a valued member of any team he plays with (in just about any sport for that matter). Dealing in dirt for a living he can talk the leg off a chair - has never found a quiet moment he couldn’t fill with some sort of long winded droning diatribe - there are those who feel the Tav’s may well have found their new team talker. On his second trip to ‘Changers, Jordo seems to be firming up as a strong and regular contributor on both sides of the rope – the future of the Tav’s looks dicey indeed………
