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Al Field
President, CEO and Grand Pubah of Cheese Industries, this guy has been around. Not particularly fleet of foot, the old silverback commands attention wherever he goes. Memory like an elephant; Cheesie can shimmy up a tree like a jack rabbit, a sight not for the faint of heart. Portends to be the calm voice of reason on tour – hence the inevitable havoc on tour.
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Damien O’Hara
Nutsy, hard core Taverner with a taste for, well, everything. A variety of the man’s unfortunate habits can be attributed to the fact he is the ‘keeper. Recognised nationwide for his personal grooming techniques and hirsute look, this man helps keep us from being grounded and sensible on tour. Along with Scratcher, the heart and soul of the team.
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Dave Cooney
A dull and listless man – avoid.
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Glen O’brien
Scratcher, son of Itchie, so named for reasons indeterminate, though most likely the result of poor undergarment hygiene. Can often be found playing in his oversized sandpit with his many Tonka trucks and toy planes. A true cricket tragic of questionable ability, he does nonetheless exude boundless and often times troublesome enthusiasm. A whirlwind on the dancefloor, a menace on a motorbike – the quintessential Taverner.
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John O’brien
Itchie, father of Scratcher, self-proclaimed pants man and raconteur, can always be relied upon for a good story, whether you want to hear one or not. Best not left unsupervised anywhere near a horse; famous for the highly unusual “double slap” when entering a swimming pool. Failure to observe the state imposed exclusion zone of at least two metres at all times will induce in the victim an infuriating itch, primarily of the nipple.
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Nick Ashbrook
Despite the moniker, Mad Dog’s appearance is more that of an expertly coiffed Shitzhou ready to hit the stage at Crufts than anything else. Whilst for reasons unknown preferring the environs of a hotel with cleaners, he has been known to occasionally grace us with his presence. Fond of the toga, dress ups in general really, is generous to a fault and known as the quiet achiever on tour (which is really just a nice way of saying he lurks in the shadows, twitching, waiting…….). Despite all reports to the contrary, this guy is not to be trifled with.
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Peter Wann
Wanny, the most revered and respected man on tour, though admittedly it is a pretty small and degenerate gene pool. Disappears for hours on end, then pops up fresh as a daisy for the fine session – a very experienced campaigner indeed. The Taverners just wouldn’t be the same without him.
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Rowdy Fletcher
He of the rapier wit and razor tongue, old swivel hips knows how to charm. Caused a sensation at last year’s Pig Pick with his wicked and unrestrained (unhinged?) convulsions on the dance floor. Fond of the ladies - should we tell him what a khatoey is this year? Shows a mountain of promise both on the field and off, just needs to shut up and concentrate. All round top bloke.
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Ryan Carmody
The human wrecking Ball. A man who knows how to make his presence felt, capable of prodigious ingestion of pretty much any liquid. Can sleep anywhere, on anything at any time. Has a peculiar penchant for traveling internationally on day trips. Knows how to wield the willow, one to watch out for – on both sides of the fence.
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Shaun Hilton
Shrek. Vastly experienced and globally sought after test subject for long term effects of horrendous alcohol and nicotine consumption. Medical science remains mystified as to how the man is still upright – actually, he still cuts a surprisingly sharp look and eagerly awaits his 30th birthday this May. Considers winning moustache of the year award at the ’74 Wyoming Heavy Machinery Expo the pinnacle of his life’s achievement.