A milestone year for the Stuffed Beavers Cricket Club: 25 years since it was founded in the converted garage at the London School of Economics that was the Three Tuns Club; the 50th birthday celebrations of leading club stalwart Chas; and of course our 10th Tour to the Chiang Mai Sixes. Nobody wanted to miss this one, so it's two teams (and of course the Beaverettes) and a lot of partying to fit in.
Adam "Jose" Barnett
6th Tour. RHB, RM, BOTY 2009. After an absence of too many years, attributable entirely to excessive fertility, the Beavers' Director of Merchandising and its inaugural President is back with a kit bag full of dodgy T-shirts and assorted other second hand gear. A real concern exists that he is going to try and fit three years worth of partying into one week.....
Bob "Manao" Gall
4th Tour. RHB, WK. Travelling light this year which is likely to have an inversely proportional effect on his vodka consumption. Occasionally hits the ball as hard as he hits the bottle.
Chas "Beggers" Begley
10th Tour. RHB, LM. Milestones abound for Charles as he takes on the mantle of the captaincy just days after recording his maiden fifty. Weeks of celebration are culminating in a week-long itinerary of adulation, libation and congratulations.
Chris "where's Ramos" Coombes
2nd Tour. RHB, WK, BOTY 2015. The reigning BOTY and proud holder of the coveted David Begley plate returns to defend his title and protect his wife's honour. Will definitely be opening the bowling if we get drawn against the Dingbats as there is revenge to be sought after being carted around the park by Coombes Jr last year.
Mark "Crown Jewels" Robinson
2nd Tour. RHB, RFM. Yorkshire's finest proponent of reverse swing bowling since Herbert Sutcliffe. A master craftsman in the jewels department and no mean shaker on the dance floor after the requisite number of slammers. Marky-Mark Mark 2's plan for this year is to avoid being at work during crucial fixtures.
Mark "Felix" Sayers
4th Tour. RHB, RF, BOTY 2014. The SBCC's tearaway fast bowler returns to strike fear into the hearts of anyone within earshot when he gets hold of a karaoke mike. Marky-Mark Mark 1 was a worthy winner of Beaver of The Year in 2014 for outstanding dedication to sleeping and speaking French.
Phil "Forearms" Burgess
3rd Tour. RHB, RM, BOTY 2013. Phil has spent way too much time immersed in the MCC coaching manual to perfect his forward defensive but on the grounds that this shot proved surprisingly prolific on his last tour, we can expect more of the same from the returning former BOTY. His alcohol consumption is easy-to-monitor due to its direct correlation to Phil's speech volume.
Simon "App man" Williams
2nd Tour. RHB, RM. Simon has spent much of the last year courting other clubs in the hope of securing a better deal. Frantic last minute negotiations have secured his services and, more importantly, easy pickings for fines.