Alex (Heelsy) Hayes
Yes you guessed it.....another wickie. (Eww, just vom'd in my mouth)
Cap'n Muerto's dream of having an all Wicky side is coming along nicely. We just need to convince Chas , Nige and the rogueishly good looking Davo that they also SHOULD be wickies.
Enough about his teammates, Alex is a CM Tour Virgin, (please go easy on him). He allegedly can play cricket, but the peanut gallery will be the sole judge of that.
He's never been capped before but the great Cricketballing nation of Vietnam will welcome him in his splendid 'Watermelons' and will rejoice in his conquests on the Gymkana pitch. Rumour has it they are already washing down down the the streets in Sapa in preparation for his triumphant return.
This year, Sapa have recruited the Stuffed Beaver's best and worst bowlers.
Chas is one of those men.
His defection will cause huge ructions throughout the cricketing world.
Yet it will make no difference whatsoever to the chances of either team.
As the twilight of his cricketing career fast approaches, Davo's love of the game has seen him take up a new role.
He's in training to be a scorer.
You'll find him in our tent, with his coloured pens and copy of Wisden, diligently marking down each and every single.
"Hey Nige, what's the symbol for a wide?".
Neil (Morton Cap'n Muerto) Morton
Look out CM, the Cap is back after the shortest retirement in history, and he's looking for a big one. To be fair that's not such a vast achievement if past years are anything to go by.
You'll find him beside his one true love (sorry Caz) needlessy organising Mittings and prepareing spreadsheets that no one will appreciate......but at least this should keep Nige busy.
One of not many established Batsmen he'll also need to bring his a game in the bowling stakes as his fast pace line-up leaves a lot to be desired.
Morto finally has his man.
Without Nigel, the SBCC will be like a rudderless ship, a wolf pack without an alpha male, an army without a general.
The Beavers will crumble and Sapa will emerge victorious.
We just have to teach him how to bowl.
Another wicket keeper who bowls.
Unfortunately, the bowling half of the combination will be sitting in the tent drinking cocktails while the wickie chases wides down to fine leg.
The fierce competitor in Ron will not be pleased with the news of Sapa's new recruits.
Let hope we can keep him happy by listening to him going on about Collingwood.
Donna is the best Australian darts player in history, except for the one with the funny hair. She's also Sapa's best cricketer.
A wicket-keeping vet who bowls and takes photographs.
Shane comes out of the blocks hard at the start of Chiang Mai week, a foul-mouthed Aussie with a scruffy demeanour.
By the end of the week though, his manners will resemble an English gent, his haircut will be more sensible and he will have gained about 6 stone.
Some would be excused for thinking it's two different people.