The DRIFTERS, 2015.
Every year it is possible to see former performers in Drifters colours gracing other teams. This year will be no exception, it seems. We are of the ‘Arsene Wenger’ school of thought and will not break our salary structures to accommodate star performers coveted by others. So, as a result, we have a tried and tested, and experienced squad with no hint of youth.
Tubby will be somewhere in the locale, but will not grace the field, as he is still looking for a rabid dog. Some say he has found one, but we refuse to be drawn into this one.
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1. Rob ‘Lord’ Hall
Lord Hall has threatened to lay off the juice in order to reshape himself and his bowling action, but gave in very quickly when he realised that the necessary abstinence coincided with his birthday. He has also received visitations, from Chiang Mai in recent months and we wonder where this will lead – beers, normally, though Chester FC are doing better at the moment.
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2. Simon ‘Sensible’ Philbrook
With in excess of 20 Chiang Mai Sixes tournaments under his belt and 40 inches, the Pattaya CC big boy offers plenty of experience both on and off the field. His batting can destroy the opposition and his bowling can destroy his teammates. Simon is Thai resident, who will be acclimatised and ready to go from the off.
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3. John ‘Slammer’ Langham
Langers is returning. Apparently, he has been very active on FB from his perch in Melbourne and also in JP’s junk box of late, with virulitic content. He has had a difficult year and we would encourage everyone to be sympathetic to a man in need of tender loving care. We do not know what has happened to his cricket, but we will be looking for big things in 2015.
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4. Paul ‘Sledger’ Hack
A virgin tourist who leaves his verbal mark on many of the opposition. A fine Aussie all-rounder, who's wily off breaks and powerful willow wielding make him an ideal sixes cricketer. He had a pre-tournament weekend with his beloved Pattaya CC to familiarise himself of the week ahead, and he now knows where the best Aussie bars and boundaries are located.
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5. Jon ‘Periquita’ Pike
The evergreen JP is back to keep an avuncular eye on proceedings, and to continue compiling the wordsmith’s Lexicon of evocative English words with Bobby Young. Sometimes it beats the cricket. Following a run in with his own personal FX Trader in 2014, due to abhorrent charges, JP has taken it upon himself not to be foible. So JP personally travelled to BKK to ensure that the Drifters entry fee was paid, without incurring those abhorrent charges.
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6. Jim ‘In the Jungle’ Cole
Virgin tourist and another 4 Elms CC player in the squad. During the winter, Jim has embarked upon a strict fitness regime that includes playing regular football, albeit in goal. Unfortunately he has forgotten about cricket training, so who knows how his fast slider will come out ! Jim is also looking forward to playing a few rounds of golf in Chiang Mai, and has been known to like wagers. Should anyone want to take up the challenge, then Jim is always willing.
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7. Bobby ’Moist’ Young
Mr Young (well not that young), has decided to give the Drifters another chance, but expects much more from them to improve his wordsmith’s Lexicon ! Playing in his second tournament, this is another Drifter who has embarked upon a strict fitness regime that includes regular football training. His newly found stamina and mobility levels are now off the charts, which will be ably demonstrated in the bars of Chiang Mai. On the field batsmen need to be wary of his very slow left arm 'sinkers' and 'floaters', but bowlers need not worry about his scoring, only the ladies of the night.
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8. Sam 'Quiet' Netherey
Sam is a late addition to the mature Drifters squad, and will significantly reduce the average age. Hailing from the shores of Oz, he will bring much needed bowling and batting skill with his pacy left arm bowling and right handed hitting. Not so sure he will contribute much to the wordsmiths within the team, but the odd one or two he will use will raise an eyebrow.
