Bristol Cricket Club aka Marshall's Doughnuts is collection of cricketing misfits of varying cricketing and drinking abilities.
Bristol CC likes to consider itself as a pioneer of inclusive cricket, we even adopted Ice Road just to prove it!
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"Slingshot" Dan Jones
Bristol CC's answer to Malinga, Slingshot Dan is the silent assassin. On his MySpace page he lists his favourite music genre as 'Chin', and he likes it loud. Other than his pace, Dan is best known at the club for retiring Lord Williams from 1st XI duties.
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"Wreck It" Ralph Hardwick
As the genuine all rounder of the Bristol CC touring team, Wreck It Ralph Hardwick has been known to destroy both bowling attacks and giant burgers within a matter seconds. Caution is advised as an angry Koala lurks deep beneath the surface.
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Alan "Myke" Hunt
Once Chief Mechanic to Penelope Pitstop and The Ant Hill Mob. Al now splits his time between family duties and his own garage. Off the pitch Mr Hunt comes with his own set of operating instructions as issued by his wife. Similar to that of a Gremlin, be careful what liquids are sent his direction as you never know what could happen...
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Alex "Ice Road" Morrison
From the hit TV show Ice Road Truckers, Bristol CC presents Alex "Ice Road" Morrison. The 4th team captain is most famously known for attempting to scratch an itch at the back of his own throat while ordering a pint. Once described on the Cotswold Village Cricket circuit as 'the most lethal non-spinning spinner', Ice Road is both a handful on and off the pitch.
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Brad "The Doyen" Baptist
Bristol CC's Tour Doyen, Life Member, and token Ozi. Once described as Melbourne's answer to William Wallace, The Doyen will lead the charge both on and off the pitch ...and possibly will be spotted naked in public.
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Charlie "Gene" Alsop
The twinkle-toed Charlie Alsop, once nicknamed 'Bubbles' on account of his Champagne lifestyle is somewhat of a menace on and off the field. Most frequently seen plotting with his partner in crime, Funky. Gene is as likely to run you out as stitch up up. Watch out for his alter ego Spike.
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Chris "The Chairman" Mills
Just like steak is with lobster, The Chairman is to the cricket field. Whilst they may not frequent each others company that often, when they do, its a beautiful thing. The Chairman is as bigger hitter on the cricket pitch as he is in the boardroom, so when the signal is given from the penthouse, mind the windows!
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Lord Rhys Williams
Once the Mayor of Nampula, Mozambique Lord Rhys Williams returned to the Welsh Valleys to establish a TVR sanctuary and retirement home for pace men. The sanctuary offers wides and no ball counselling sessions while your TVR is being repaired.
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Michael "Binary" Cox
Christened Binary by The Earl of Clifton in 2014, Binary is best known for his brittle glass back and distinctly average photoshop skills. Binary prefers not to trouble scorers with too much effort when batting, and enjoys his simple life as tour admin b*tch.
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Neil "The Earl of Clifton" Pollard
Described in 1994 as the WEPL's best spinner and voted by his peers as 'The Living Embodiment of Baroness Thatcher', The Earl a creature of comfort. Much like the Grizzly Bear, The Earl will spend 5-7 months hibernating outside of the cricket season and is somewhat grumpy when disturbed.
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Paul "Stringfellow" Redwood
The evergreen Paul Redwood, gifted with both word and willow. The riddle master himself is an all round cricketing Yoda. His mane is said to be source of his powers, but no one has lived long enough to witness it short.
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Phil "Dowg" Marshall
All round Club legend and Indoor Team sponsor, Phil "Dowg" Marshall pioneered the 'Doughnut Movement' at Bristol CC with his catchphrase "Ere you doughnuts!". As the hard man of the squad, the Dowg is man to stay on right side of. If you do, you might just enjoy a few beers, a few laughs along the way.
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Ross "Funky" Miller
15 years on from his TV debut as the Milky Bar Kid, Ross "Funky" Miller is now a superstar DJ and awaiting a paternity test from suspected father, Boris Johnson. Known to spin the ball at right angles, the featherweight spinner was once described by club legend Marshy as "a **ing menace", a billing he lives up to both on and off the field.
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William "Ran Khay Ki" Rudge
Full time Club Captain and part time Luke Ronchi look-a-like, William Rudge is the squads self proclaimed all rounder. Ran Ki was set to lead the Bristol CC Doughnuts in this year's Chiang Mai International Cricket Sixes tournament, but is currently pending the outcome of a selection committee investigation into events that took place in a northern chicken shop during the 2015 Bristol CC tour.
