A random selection of slow bowlers from around the country, all friends through cricket. None of us is any good but we enjoy pretending we are. May be a tour too many for most of the team....
-
Bradley Smith
Mr Bladley is a previous winner of this tournament in 2000 with the MCC. Sussex Premier league player with Hastings and Eastbourne, a better bloke these days than a cricketer.Will probably drop out of the tour a week or so before departure date so this paragraph is likely to be irrelevant.
-
Gareth Griffiths
Elmer holds the world record for most career dismissals of rabbits in world cricket. Very slow bowler, amazingly slow runner. Normally runs out Rexington in Thailand. Squad player, unlikely to feature come game-time.
-
Hospitality Swetman
An ex-wicket-keeper, a better bee-keeper, he is probably the only batter in the squad. A very talented all-round cricketer, as Jazz as you can possibly get and carries off the name Rupert well. Lives in his father’s shadow, certainly lives life to the full and gives 100% on the sports field and the dancefloor. He is a regular attendee at top sports events around the UK – yet to pay for entry to one.
-
Jamie King
Another who has run his own team for many years to ensure his constant selection, a talented sportsman Jamie was always more successful on the rugby pitch than a cricket one. An experienced campaigner with a 360 degree hitting range, his game is best suited to the much shorter version of the game, having captained and won many 6 a side tournaments across the South West of England. Very protective over his sister.
-
Joseph Shuttle
International Playboy in the Heffner mould, with the fine mane of a champion stallion put out to stud. Always well attired, always incredibly pale, Joe is a great tourist and is sure to be entertaining. A dangerous character.
-
Rexington Purnell
The former Rat catcher and stand up-comedian Rex is outstanding value on and off the pitch. Never been seen in the same room at the same time as Phil Collins. Under-estimate him at your peril, he looks crap but he is a very intelligent bowler and is faster than he should be around the field. Very competitive and will always try his heart out. With the bat, has a career average of 1 in Thailand.
-
Scott Corbett
International playboy and chicken farmer, Scott will no doubt pick up an injury on this trip, possibly early in the tour. Talented left arm slow bowler who can find the boundaries, as a batsman can be destructive apparently. Outstanding tour organiser
-
Tom House
Tom is a tall, thin Viking who bowls off spin, and is well accustomed to dropping a catch or two. Runs his own cricket team to ensure he gets a game. Will Hodson’s best man, he feels this will more than likely be the most he will achieve in the next ten years.
-
Will Hodson
Will is a medical miracle, he is half South African and half Yorkshireman yet he is neither racist nor tight. A Surrey Premier league player, the Roosters’ captain will chip in with bat, ball and tongue. As a younger man his standards on the pitch were higher than those off it, but all good must come to an end. Has a distinct dislike for Australians wearing hats indoors, looking forward to seeing how he goes with this one…..
-
Will Penny
Team-mate of Jamie King’s, married his sister – one can imagine how that went down. Incredibly fit, he has run marathons, triathlons and Iron Man events, yet is always injured. Bowls half volleys like no bowling machine, is sure to lose the plot at some stage. Loves Somerset and cider.