Tokyo Dingbats

Tokyo Dingbats

After stunning the cricket world and themselves in 2019, Tokyo Dingbats were controversially ditched by their major sponsor [name deleted] because they "no longer fit in with [name deleted]'s underdog image or our ability to make toilet puns". Now the Tokyo Dingbats are out to prove a point. Just what that point is and how they plan to make it, nobody knows. Taking the left-field approach of bringing someone who could bat, and locking Curly in the toilet during their batting innings paid dividends in 2019.

Japanese cricket lost one of its brightest characters in 2019 in Richard Laidler. We hope Laids is looking down upon us, shaking his head.

Tokyo Dingbats Players


    Manages to combine driving trucks and cooking up some creative accountancy, usually at the same time, Nikka is in his second incarnation as a tourist. The ten year hiatus still hasn't been properly explained, but best not probe to deeply or he might invite you to a BBQ. Shows Curly that age is no excuse for being a shit cricketer.


    Still living under a pile of discarded bags of garbage, living on toothpaste, Head & Shoulders and shit, Zulu's days of lazily punting down the Brisbane River are as distant as those elusive cucumber sandwiches. Family life and responsibilities have done nothing to calm the man from the ratty planet. Has almost finished paying for the broken furniture from the last tour.


    Curly just keeps coming back, like herpes, popping up and embarrassing you in social situations. Unlike herpes, he has been unable to transmit the captaincy, and so the Dingbats will be hamstrung not only by his walrus like fielding, buffet bowling and Chris Martin batting, but will also have to deal with his laser sharp instincts for the game. Sadly, has recovered use of his vocal cords.


    Arguably the best thing to happen to the Dingbats since Max Coombes (or at least since Jarrad stopped coming) Take-Away Bray adds a certain colour and pizzazz to the Dingbats' squad. He also adds batting, bowling fielding, sponsors (we hope) and players, so suffice to say they'd be rooted without him. Spends more time in Japan than any other Dingbat.


    Sharpie, aka Ankles is making hard to believe claims about actually coming on tour this time. Claims about as believable as the ones about him being a quiet non-drinking chippie until Japan got in the way. If Japan corrupted him that much in a few short years, what is a week in Chiang Mai going to do. Keep an eye out for the underarm.


    A homeless itinerant that lives out of a suitcase, Jeffels, like many homeless, claims to be running a successful business, and credits his frequent cross-border moves to his work as a travel agent, rather than law enforcement. Whoever he is running from must have been close on his his tail, as he fled the Gymkhana the morning of the Dingbats' triumphant final win. Might be a virgin, just isn't sure.


    Amateur bovine arm-wrestler and layer of concrete, Richo caught a few people's attention on his maiden tour last year. Had this interesting un-Dingbat technique of using the middle of the bat to propel the ball up and over the boundary line. Pulled in one remarkable catch, and was disappointed to know he couldn't bat on to 50.